insomnia 

she is no  t a pretty monster

but rather a for m of identification

combined with a                                                           lack of reality. 

                                          hARd To admit

to you   rself

and to others

                     that you

                            are

                            drowning while both:

asleep

and 

awake.

Silly of me to think otherwise

It’s so warm and calm inside
I no longer have to hide

I need to paint again.

too many pent up thoughts and emotions